Theme:  To Listen Is To Love – To Love Is To Listen
11-29-15

Roy Anderson

The Great Shmah: Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (NIV)

To hear is to listen, to take heed and respond with action.

To listen is to obey!!

Deuteronomy 11:13 (NIV) shmah=obey

1.     Love God by listening attentively to His Word.

Listen=Silent

Joshua 1:8-9 (NIV) – Meditation on the Word

“Christian meditation, very simply, is the ability to hear God’s voice and obey His Word.” (Celebration of Discipline (17), Foster).

Jesus: “It is not the one that hears the Word that is blessed, it is the one who does it.”

James 1:19-26(NIV)

19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.

2.  Love myself by listening carefully to my “self-talk.”

3.  Love others by listening to them.

Poor Habits of Listening

The primary goal of listening is to gain understanding and knowledge.  The following are ways we sabotage effective listening and often create misunderstandings:

  1. Non-Attending – Not present, no eye contact.
  2. Editing – You hear only what you want to hear.
  3. Rehearsing – You are planning what you want to say.
  4. Analyzing – You interpret what is being said.
  5. Daydreaming – Your mind wanders.
  6. Personalizing – You relate what’s said to your own life.
  7. Switching – You change the subject when possible.
  8. Judging – You find fault and criticize.
  9. Advising – You tell them what they need to do.
  10.  Interrupting – You change the flow by speaking before they finish.
  11.  Placating – You agree to avoid conflict.
  12.  Disagree – You challenge what is said.
  13.  Asking “Why” – You put the person on the defensive.
  14.  Interrogating – Asking too many questions.

Use Active Listening Skills to make important decisions, solving problems, generating options or resolving conflicts.

Quality listening means getting the whole story accurately the first time.

Using the listening skills, demonstrates respect and an I-care-about you.

Five Proven Skills in Listening:                                                                           

Attend: look, listen and track. Acknowledge - nod, stay tuned in Invite - for more information. Summarize - to ensure accuracy. Ask Open Questions - for clarification

Benefits of Attentive Listening:

Get to the core faster with less stress.

Gain uncontaminated, quality information.

Encourage continued disclosure.

Reduce anxiety and defensiveness.

Connect rather than control.

Relate more constructively.

Demonstrate respect.  (I Peter 3:7)

Earn the right to be heard as well.

Save time by not creating new issues.

Feel good about your caring behavior.

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